tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61516377192715383212024-03-13T22:18:35.431-06:00CERTAINLY MOTIVATEDComics, Movies, and Random ThoughtsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-56819143316184016552011-06-03T20:12:00.000-06:002011-06-03T20:12:07.469-06:00Movie Review: X-Men: First Class<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UTTHPR7Oleo/TemTs1jmmxI/AAAAAAAAAc0/pD_OxwRUS0E/s1600/x-men-first-class-movie-poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UTTHPR7Oleo/TemTs1jmmxI/AAAAAAAAAc0/pD_OxwRUS0E/s320/x-men-first-class-movie-poster.jpg" width="221" /></a></div>After two weak entries in the X-Men film franchise (the juvenile <i>X3</i>, and the unimpressive <i>X-Men Origins: Wolverine</i>), I was pretty leery going into <i>X-Men: First Class</i>. Yellow uniforms? Magneto’s helmet? Eurgh. Has there ever been a 5th movie in a series that was actually decent? Now there’s at least one; <i>X-Men: First Class</i> is an intelligent, exciting, stylized addition to the X-Men film franchise, and almost supplants <i>X2</i> as the best X-Men movie. <br />
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<i>X-Men: First Class</i> takes place in the swingin’, Commie hatin’ 60s and chronicles the friendship and conflict between Charles Xavier (James McAvoy), a telepathic university professor and Erik Lensherr (Michael Fassbender), a metal-kinetic Nazi hunter. I could watch “Magneto vs Nazis” all day, but the real villain of the film is the enigmatic Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon), mutant mastermind.<br />
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I think one secret to pulling off a ridiculous movie is to have ridiculously talented actors. Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen are a tough act to follow, but James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender pull off the roles with panache. The sillier elements of comics mythology are embraced by actors and director alike, and the script is an appropriately timed mix of subtlety and hyperbole. In the trailer, seeing the cast run around in the yellow accented uniforms and Magneto wearing the helmet really doesn’t do the film justice; Charles’ and Erik’s friendship is built so organically that their inevitable schism is all the more heartbreaking, and the events that lead up to the costumes and helmet are internally logical and well paced. <br />
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<i>First Class’</i> only major weakness was that it occasionally became a game of “Cram the Reference,” to deal with everything that could have possibly happened to all the characters between 1944 and 2000. Basically the only question left unanswered between <i>First Class</i> and <i>X1 </i>is “how did Charles lose his hair?” There’s enough dramatic potential with these characters that Magneto breaking away Professor X’s team could have been its own film, but for a fanboy like me, that isn’t so much of a weakness as it is a “Holy crap! Wolverine cameo!!! *fist pump*” <br />
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It’s a risk to say it, but if this movie had been released before <i>X-Men 1</i>, people would be saying “X-Men is good, but it’s just not as classy as X-Men: First Class.” A super powered period piece, <i>X-Men: First Class</i> is for fanboys, jaded X-Men fans, and average moviegoers alike.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-79174124579067876882011-04-20T19:33:00.001-06:002011-11-14T01:18:51.830-07:00Back Issue Alphabet: Q is for Quasar #3 of 4 (2007)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bBvplix6C-s/Ta-JIVbU8MI/AAAAAAAAAcU/4gAMrwseBOI/s1600/quasar+3+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bBvplix6C-s/Ta-JIVbU8MI/AAAAAAAAAcU/4gAMrwseBOI/s400/quasar+3+cover.jpg" width="258" /></a></div><br />
<i>Annihilation: Conquest - Quasar # 3 (Christos N. Gage, Mike Lilly)</i><br />
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The cover features the star of the book, Phyla-Vell, kneeling pensively while offering up a quantum energy sword. It isn’t very indicative of the events inside the book, but it does represent the character of Phyla; stoic and noble. <br />
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Quasar #3 has an introductory page that is almost a novel in itself. It summarizes the events of Marvel’s cosmic crossover series, Annihilation, and the two previous issues of Quasar. Let me just say that I am all in favour of strictly text catch-up pages. Having characters stand around for an entire page awkwardly recapping past events has never been nor will it ever be an effective storytelling device. So right off the bat, I’m liking Quasar #3. This particular issue involves Phyla-Vell, and her lover, Moondragon, fighting back hoards of Phalanx warriors and searching for the Kree Savior. <br />
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This, my friends, is how heroes travel between planets:<br />
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<center><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oUcEU5ztgZE/Ta-JMSgZnsI/AAAAAAAAAcY/CljSCc8h3rw/s1600/quasar+3+lets+ride.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oUcEU5ztgZE/Ta-JMSgZnsI/AAAAAAAAAcY/CljSCc8h3rw/s1600/quasar+3+lets+ride.jpg" /></a></center><br />
My God--it’s full of lens flares! If you think that picture is awesome, you’re probably a fan of sprawling space-opera adventure. If you think that picture is silly, just walk away. It only gets radder from there. <br />
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This issue also features my favourite phrase in comics:<br />
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<center><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-u0nRIx57vzk/Ta-JS3TYMqI/AAAAAAAAAcc/68UoiDeqrF8/s1600/quasar+3+ENOUGH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-u0nRIx57vzk/Ta-JS3TYMqI/AAAAAAAAAcc/68UoiDeqrF8/s1600/quasar+3+ENOUGH.jpg" /></a></center><br />
“Enough!” That’s followed up with a two page spread of Phyla taking out an entire Phalanx army. <br />
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I liked Quasar #3, and if I had picked it up randomly in 2007, I would have sought out the preview two issues and followed through with 4 of 4. I am, however, a total sucker for an epic space fantasy, so your mileage may vary.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-54370750983416473262011-04-11T22:52:00.000-06:002011-04-11T22:52:22.761-06:00Back Issue Alphabet: P is for Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #74 (1983)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-T4IErfnmt_A/TaPY84zdbnI/AAAAAAAAAcI/p9TPzvdePRI/s1600/peter+parker+74+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-T4IErfnmt_A/TaPY84zdbnI/AAAAAAAAAcI/p9TPzvdePRI/s400/peter+parker+74+cover.jpg" width="258" /></a></div><br />
<i>Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #74 (Bill Mantlo, Bob Hall, Jim Mooney)</i><br />
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This is certainly an interesting cover. I was honestly hoping that the “mind-shattering conclusion to the Debra Whitman saga” would involve her being devoured by an army of tiny Spider-Mans. It’s a very eye-catching design, and it subtly follows the “Z” layout for eye movement. <br />
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In the interest of full disclosure, you should know that the entirety of my Spider-Man reading/watching consists of the 90s Fox cartoon, the Sam Raimi movies, and <i>Ultimate Spider-Man</i>. I couldn’t tell you what a “classic” Spidey story is supposed to be, but I can tell you this: the best Spider-Man stories always have a grounded human story going on alongside whatever scientific insanity is going on at the time. Case in point, in the cartoon, there was an episode where Curt Conners is abducted by a race of lizard people, turned into The Lizard, and then tries to hotwire the neogenic recombinator to turn all of New York into lizard people; the underlying message of the episode is that marriage is about working through the tough times together, as explained by Mrs Conners. Awe, how heart warming!<br />
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PPSSM #74 fills the criteria of “human story” and “scientific insanity” nicely. The issue begins with Debra Whitman, hot nerdy girl about town, in a session with a therapist. She’s convinced that Peter Parker (the love of her life) is Spider-Man, and the thought of him being in danger is driving her into fits of depression and delirium. After she finishes her session, we learn that the doctor had arranged for Peter to be in the other room listening in on the conversation. The therapist suggests that Peter dress up as Spider-Man and tell Debra that he really is the wall crawler. This should shock her out of depression and back into reality. Peter doesn’t like the idea of lying to cure Debra (well... the NOTION of lying, at least) and storms out. <br />
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<center><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-W7-aaD7_H1c/TaPZMxlZSMI/AAAAAAAAAcM/rzSSKTFVb1M/s1600/peter+parker+74+shock+therapy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="392" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-W7-aaD7_H1c/TaPZMxlZSMI/AAAAAAAAAcM/rzSSKTFVb1M/s400/peter+parker+74+shock+therapy.jpg" width="400" /></a></center><br />
Debra Whitman is certainly set up to be a sympathetic character (we later learn that she was a battered wife), but the resolution to her problem is... conflicted. Peter rejects the notion of lying to her about being Spider-Man, and then reveals himself to be Spider-Man because it’s the truth, but then she assumes he’s lying to her to be nice, so she’s cured, and he then lies and effectively says “okay, you got me, I’m not really Spider-Man.” What are we supposed to surmise from this? If your friend is having a mental breakdown, it’s best to let her believe whatever she wants as long as it seems to help her cope with the pain? I can’t really see the lesson about power or responsibility here. <br />
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In the sci-fi action half of the book, the Owl and Dr Octopus are gearing up for a gang war. They’re stealing bits of technology from around New York to build some sort of weapon, and they’ve both stolen two halves of something powerful. <br />
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<center><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MclcHmluRnk/TaPZZ2ycT5I/AAAAAAAAAcQ/tCUcgC24kno/s1600/peter+parker+74+fight+scene.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MclcHmluRnk/TaPZZ2ycT5I/AAAAAAAAAcQ/tCUcgC24kno/s400/peter+parker+74+fight+scene.jpg" width="400" /></a></center><br />
Oh, and the Black Cat shows up at the end, and Spidey is surprised to see her. He thought she was dead (or at least not alive). <br />
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<i>Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #74</i> is a fun read. The Owl is a really boring villain (he’s a dude that can glide!), but I’m interested to see what Doctor Octopus has up his sleeve. I would buy the next issue of this to see the gang wars between Doc and the Owl.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-67233283013178808032011-04-02T17:59:00.001-06:002011-04-02T18:00:02.550-06:00April Fool's 2011 RoundupApril 1st is the best day of the year to be on the Internet. The only thing better than the ridiculous pranks that news sites put up the the legion of indignant hipsters that make a huge deal about hating April Fools' Day. So here's a list of my favorite gags from this year's April Fools.<br />
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<a href="http://www.minecraft.net/store/loot.jsp">Minecraft Store</a> - A parody of Steam's Team Fortress 2 store, the Minecraft store's best moment was when you hit the checkout button.<br />
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Believability Level: Low. It used the same font as Team Fortress 2.<br />
Production Value: Medium. Wasn't expecting the clever girl to jump out like that.<br />
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<a href="http://mail.google.com/mail/help/motion.html">Google Motion</a> - Google introduces the keyboard free Internet. Control your mail with hand gestures!<br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Believability Level: Low. Too silly to be real. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Production Value: High. Looks like a legitimate video. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/04/01/spider-man-turn-off-the-dark-afd/#ixzz1IPeU2X9Q">Comics Alliance: 'Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark' Gains Sentience, Hungers For The Flesh Of the Living</a> - Name explains situation</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Believability Level: Low, because a play can't come alive and eat people. Hopefully. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Production Value: "When reached for comment, Bono told a reporter "He comes" and then turned into thirteen snakes before slithering away." I loled. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://www.swtor.com/news/news-article/20110401">Star Wars: Old Republic Wookie Localization</a> - Bioware's next project will support the wookie dialect of Shyriiwok. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Believability Level: Medium low. Stranger thing have happened. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Production Value: Medium. Good article with some pictures for support. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://gamevideos.1up.com/video/id/33250">Halo Dance Central</a> - Microsoft will be releasing a Halo edition of Dance Central. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Believability Level: Medium. If that video had been released a month earlier, I would have believed that it was a working Kinect hack. Again, stranger things have happened. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Production Value: High. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://us.blizzard.com/en-us/games/console/">StarCraft Motion Overdrive</a> - Control your game without keyboard or controller! Starcraft for the Kinect!</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Believability Level: Low. There's no way this could be real because it would take at least three Atlantans to beat one Korean. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Production Value: High. Video looks pretty cool</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Here's looking forward to next year! </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-31099556618849855242011-03-30T21:02:00.000-06:002011-03-30T21:02:21.521-06:00Movie Review: Sucker Punch<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4stNHfY0BUI/TZPt8udn23I/AAAAAAAAAcE/9NYvjJzPq60/s1600/sucker-punch-poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4stNHfY0BUI/TZPt8udn23I/AAAAAAAAAcE/9NYvjJzPq60/s400/sucker-punch-poster.jpg" width="270" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>I have never been more prepared to hate a movie than I was for Zack Snyder’s (300, Watchmen)<i> Sucker Punch</i>. This picture really sums up my ire for the entire promotional compaign:<a name='more'></a><br />
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<center><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Qp4n4YyA6Rc/TZPtXGDxTJI/AAAAAAAAAcA/kpaKeK2psNw/s1600/more+like+suck+punch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Qp4n4YyA6Rc/TZPtXGDxTJI/AAAAAAAAAcA/kpaKeK2psNw/s400/more+like+suck+punch.jpg" width="400" /></a></center><br />
Pigtails, midriff schoolgril outfit, katana, pistol, fishnet stockings, World War I soldiers, and lollipop. Grimace. When these things appear individually in films, they range from tolerable to wicked sweet. When they all appear in the same film at the same time, it’s a giant obnoxious mess; and my standards aren’t that high, people. I legitimately enjoyed <i>Battle: Los Angeles</i>. LEGITIMATELY. <br />
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Here’s <i>Sucker Punch</i> in an elaborate nutshell: Baby Doll (Emily Browning) is framed by her stepfather for her sister’s murder, has a mental breakdown (maybe?) and is admitted/trapped in an asylum. To escape the torment of the asylum, Babydoll escapes into her mind where the patients and staff are transformed into the cast and crew of a PG-13 bordello. Like, super PG-13. They don’t even use the word “sex.” When called upon to dance, Baby Doll retreats even deeper into her mind by entering fantastic combat situations, including (in order of appearance) fighting giant stone samurai with miniguns, WWI steampunk zombies, WW2 orcs, and unspecified-era robots. Her dances are so mesmerizing that anyone watching her is completely spellbound. She hatches a plan to distract staff/clients while her fellow patients/dancers steal items from them to use in the escape. <br />
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It sounds interesting, but the nicest thing I can say about <i>Sucker Punch</i> is that it’s the most creative movie you’ll see this year. But besides the visuals, it’s empty. <i>Sucker Punch</i> aims to be a conversation piece--the sort of film that you make theories about and discuss with your friends. Unfortunately, there’s just not enough foundation laid before or after the fantasy sequence for any sort of interesting discussion about the plot or themes to occur. The only reason anything happens in this movie is because it’s imagined, and the things that weren’t imagined are extremely linear. Even the fantastical action sequences became wearisome, mostly due to gratuitous overuse of slow motion. <br />
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I went into the film prepared to hate <i>Sucker Punch</i>, but by now find I merely pity it. There's such incredible talent here gone to waist. I can see in a hundred spots where director Zack Snyder really thought he was making a classic, but <i>Sucker Punch</i> falls as flat as the imaginary Kaiser’s imaginary steampunk zeppelin.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-84476046547341571782011-03-28T18:10:00.000-06:002011-03-28T18:10:53.667-06:00Back Issue Alphabet: O is for The Omega Men (1983)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-73fza3JzFv8/TZEizfd9OnI/AAAAAAAAAbw/eQo5b78D3d0/s1600/omega+men+1+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-73fza3JzFv8/TZEizfd9OnI/AAAAAAAAAbw/eQo5b78D3d0/s400/omega+men+1+cover.jpg" width="260" /></a></div><br />
<div><i>The Omega Men #1 (Roger Slifer, Keith Giffen, Mike De Carlo)</i></div><div><br />
The cover is fairly overblown, and it didn’t give me high hopes for the content. I went into this book ready to tear into another self-important space opera, but darned if The Omega Men didn’t pull me in. It’s a <i>Green Lantern/Teen Titans</i> spin-off, but it’s spun so far off that you don’t require any knowledge of the crossover event that birthed it to enjoy the story. <a name='more'></a><br />
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<i>Omega Men #1</i> succinctly (if hamfistedly) introduces us to the group and what they’re up against. A team of super powered misfits from different enslaved planets have joined forces to combat their oppressors, the evil Citadel. That’s the backdrop, but the story of this issue focuses on Broot (the big purple guy) and his planet, a society of pacifists that avoid war at all costs. Broot has broken his ancestral vow of pacifism to liberate his people, which has only earned him scorn. <br />
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<center><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dc5YtwReh7U/TZEi4_4rYyI/AAAAAAAAAb0/gDMV9lYcaZQ/s1600/omega+men+1+brootality.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dc5YtwReh7U/TZEi4_4rYyI/AAAAAAAAAb0/gDMV9lYcaZQ/s1600/omega+men+1+brootality.jpg" style="cursor: move;" /></a></center><br />
Take note of the cover: this book was not approved by the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comics_Code_Authority#1954_Code_criteria">Comics Code Authority</a>, so the writers and artists have free reign to be extra violent. And because the Omega Men are fighting aliens instead of humans, the action is more brutal than average DC house standards would allow. Citadel soldiers get torn in half, smashed, shot, and rent in twain, often with red liquid spilling everywhere. In an era when most heroes and villains didn’t even bruise, it must have been violently refreshing.<br />
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<center><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tN3Gt2NThwM/TZEjCXEiASI/AAAAAAAAAb4/Nd8ejsE2z2w/s1600/omega+men+1+alien+designs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tN3Gt2NThwM/TZEjCXEiASI/AAAAAAAAAb4/Nd8ejsE2z2w/s1600/omega+men+1+alien+designs.jpg" /></a></center><br />
The alien designs are wonderfully imaginative, and artist Keith Giffen manages to make even bizarre, non-human faces emotionally evocative. Looking back, Keith Giffen has done the art on <a href="http://certainlymotivated.blogspot.com/2011/01/back-issue-alphabet-e-is-for-eclipso.html">The Letter E</a> and <a href="http://certainlymotivated.blogspot.com/2011/02/back-issue-alphabet-j-is-for-justice.html">The Letter J</a> in my Back Issue Alphabet. I’m probably 30 years late to say it, but this guy is great!<br />
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I liked <i>Omega Men #1</i>. It’s an accessible cosmic story, new-reader friendly, and has amazing art. If I had found it in 1983, this issue would have convinced me to follow the series. It has also contributed to my growing admiration of Keith David. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-426154491547614642011-03-23T21:47:00.001-06:002011-03-23T21:48:16.267-06:00Mass Effect: Thoughts and Reflection<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/--czgulheVYY/TYq7krNsxXI/AAAAAAAAAbk/jU3Ha6Pk71s/s1600/mass+effect+2+grunt+alternate+armor.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="332" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/--czgulheVYY/TYq7krNsxXI/AAAAAAAAAbk/jU3Ha6Pk71s/s400/mass+effect+2+grunt+alternate+armor.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br />
</div>Warning: <i>Mass Effect 2</i> spoilers all up in here!<br />
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On March 29th we get the (presumably) last bit of downloadable content for <i>Mass Effect 2</i>. In honour of that, I would like to add my voice to the millions of angry nerds on the Internet to decree what I would like to see happen in the last installment of the<i> Mass Effect</i> trilogy.<br />
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</div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-size: large;">What I want to see in <i>Mass Effect 3</i>...</span></b><br />
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<b>The Hammerhead</b> -- If you didn’t pick up the Firewalker or Overlord DLC for ME2, you’re missing out. They took everything that was wrong with vehicular exploration in the first game and replaced it with something that is actually enjoyable. The Hammerhead hovercraft vehicle can go up mountains, regenerate health, has a delightful VI, and it isn’t constantly flipping over. I wouldn’t mind more exploration and vehicular combat if it was built around the Hammerhead instead of that insufferable Mako. <br />
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<b>Greater variety of mini games and more ways to get around them</b> -- The hacking mini games in ME2 were fun at first, but are a drag later on in the game. I would have loved the option to buy an upgrade that made them quicker. Instead, there’s an upgrade that made them slower (therefore, easier). A useful upgrade should have reduced the number of steps in the mini game, not double the amount of time we were allotted to play it. <br />
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<b>Turian Females</b> -- Seriously, BioWare? Humans and Quarians are the only two species in the galaxy that have equally divided male/female populations? We got an interesting explanation for the Krogan, a hand-wave explanation for Salarians, and a sexy sci-fi cliché for the Asari (all female race, sigh). So why are there no female Turians, Batarians, etc? It just seems lazy. <br />
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<b>The continued debate over the morality of the Genophage</b> -- Throughout ME1 the Krogan are said to be on the edge of extinction because of the Genophage. I believed that, because I had no idea what the Genophage really even did to their bodies, but in ME2 Mordin Solus reveals that the Genophage had successfully brought Krogan birthrates to stable pre-industrial levels. In other words, modern technology let them reproduce too successfully, leading to overpopulation. <br />
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We’re going to have a similar problem on Earth. As infant mortality rates decrease, overpopulation increases. How do we resolve this catch-22? If you could genetically engineer a biological weapon that ensured that every woman on earth could only produce two children, would you? Questions like that are the difference between good science fiction writing and great science fiction writing. If ME2 doesn’t continue that debate, I would at least like to see some other relevant writing of equal or greater quality. <br />
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<b>Better music</b> -- ME1 and 2’s music isn’t terrible, it’s just really forgettable and... synthy. Good music does incredible things for a game. I’m not even the biggest Halo fan, and I have two of the series’ soundtracks. With <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0543739/">Clint Mansell</a> doing the music for ME3, I think that will change. If you don’t know who that is, he’s the guy that scored Requiem for a Dream, the movie with <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSY4Yi2ypno">that song that’s been in a zillion trailers</a>. Even if you don’t know his name, I’ve you been to the movies in the last ten years you’ve definitely heard his music. <br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-size: large;">What I don’t want to see in <i>Mass Effect 3</i>...</span></b><br />
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<b>Probing planets</b> - It’s one of the last fringes of terrible RPG tropes: putting a boring a monotonous step between you and power-ups. For those of you not familiar with Mass Effect, to improve your weapons you need to find or purchase research upgrades with credits, but in order to actually *research* these research upgrades, you need to spend mineral resources. You can find the odd 200 to 500 of any resource during a mission, but upgrades cost around 60 000 of any given mineral when you reach the top of the upgrade line. The only way to get the required amount of minerals is to scan and probe planets. There is nothing remotely entertaining, redeeming, or uplifting about this process. You slowly move your mouse across the display and hit probe when you see a spike in the mineral scan. And you need to buy probes with your currency to do this. It’s every bit as boring as it sounds.<br />
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A slight advantage to scanning planets is that you can occasionally find missions in the form of “anomalies.” Alien signals, distress calls, crashed ships, etc. Too bad all of these missions are terrible. They’re usually very short with little reward. And maybe, MAYBE, you’ll make enough credits to cover the cost of probing that stupid planet in the first place. <br />
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You know what would make the game funner and faster? If researching only cost the initial credit purchase. Here’s how it goes: You find the research upgrade or buy it for credits, then go to your ship to research it. Done! Would that process have been improved with hours of tedious planet probing? No, it would not. At least scanning led to this great easter egg:<br />
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<center><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="311" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/d-CDNLYZ0zA?rel=0" title="YouTube video player" width="500"></iframe></center><br />
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<b>Inventory Management</b> -- This has split the Mass Effect fandom down the middle. The FPS fans are glad the inventory system is gone, and that researching weapons upgrades your entire party. In Mass Effect 1 you had to manage six weapons for every character, and two upgrades slots for each of those weapons, and their armor, their armour’s upgrades, and their tools. You picked up items from enemies when they died, and you ended up with an inventory of hundreds of items that you had to sort/sell/break down. The RPG fans want this system because it reminds them of Diablo II or something. I don’t know what’s going on in their turn-based heads.<br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-size: large;">I’m still on the fence about...</span></b><br />
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<b>Ammo </b>-- Initially, I was absolutely ENRAGED by the fact that the weapon cool down had been replaced by ammo packs. I preferred the ME2 system of controlling your shots to prevent overheating, and ME2’s glitchy sniper rifle reload system always seemed to flare up at the worst. However, once I got used to ammo it was kinda neat to switch to pistols or shotgun and go in guns blazing when my sniper rifle ammo ran out. It’s a different strategy, and I’m not sure if it’s better or worse. I miss being able to get two sniper shots off. <br />
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And that’s that. Since you were kind enough to sit through my self indulgent ramblings about video games, I reward you with a screenshot of my Commander Shepard snuggling with Yeoman Kelly Chambers.<br />
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<center><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-bVBYaajvEKo/TYq8m0IKCSI/AAAAAAAAAbo/6FAoehi-Ay4/s1600/mass+effect+2+female+shepard+sexy+time+kelly+chambers.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-bVBYaajvEKo/TYq8m0IKCSI/AAAAAAAAAbo/6FAoehi-Ay4/s400/mass+effect+2+female+shepard+sexy+time+kelly+chambers.png" width="400" /></a></center><br />
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Awww, that's... actually really creepy, with Jane Shepard's eye half open like that. If BioWare can get the romance portions of the game less terrifying, that would be great. Now let’s see how many Google hits that picture gets me!<br />
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So what do you want/do not want in Mass Effect 3?</div><div><br />
</div><div>(Yes, I did give Shepard black lipstick. It matches her Cerberus cargo pants/t-shirt combo.)</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-5365909929814957542011-03-21T18:38:00.001-06:002011-03-21T18:39:27.741-06:00Back Issue Alphabet: N is for The New Teen Titans Vol 3 #20 (1983)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-0COPQtV_s-Q/TYfu9wDJu7I/AAAAAAAAAbY/khqxNapXuuQ/s1600/new+teen+titans+vol+3+20+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-0COPQtV_s-Q/TYfu9wDJu7I/AAAAAAAAAbY/khqxNapXuuQ/s400/new+teen+titans+vol+3+20+cover.jpg" width="258" /></a></div><br />
<i>The New Teen Titans Vol 3 #20 (Marv Wolfman, George Pérez)</i><br />
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</div><div><i></i>This is by far the most original cover that I’ve come across, not just in the line of writing “Back Issue Alphabet” but in my decade or so of reading comics. It’s eye catching, relevant to the events in the book, and made me curious as to what was inside.<br />
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In <i>New Teen Titans #20</i> the Titans are tracking a new teenage super villain, the Disruptor. He has the ability to “disrupt the natural flow of things,” a power so vague and ill-defined that it only could have come from DC. Can he turn butterflies into caterpillars? Eh, whatever. The Changeling and Cyborg manage to corner the Disruptor in a sewer, and he manages to take them both out and leave them to drown in a slowly filling pipe. So he’s a pretty terrible assassin, but that’s actually acknowledged in the text. It turns out that he’s been given a powered-suit from his father, and is trying to help his father join a criminal organization by killing the Titans. He’s dangerous, but he’s not very bright and is something of a screw-up, a fact that Disruptor’s father keeps reminding him of. The whole issue unfolds in the form of a letter being written by Kid Flash, the only Titan with a normal family, to his parents. It’s a strong contrast to Disruptor’s insulting and demanding father.<br />
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The story is great but the dialogue is very... well... comic-booky. <br />
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<center><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-u1VjlPACrnM/TYfvCTr2AdI/AAAAAAAAAbc/OZMnLtBeptA/s1600/new+teen+titans+20+dialogue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-u1VjlPACrnM/TYfvCTr2AdI/AAAAAAAAAbc/OZMnLtBeptA/s400/new+teen+titans+20+dialogue.jpg" width="400" /></a></center><br />
Eugh. Human beings don’t talk like that. If I had read that in a novel I would have thrown the book across the room, but I guess years of comic bookery have increased my tolerance for purple prose. The recollection-style narrative is pretty effective; when the Changeling describes the pain of having the flow of his blood disrupted, I actually shuddered. That’s creepy as hell, man. <br />
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Even though some of the dialogue doesn’t exactly pass the test of time, the artwork passes the test of time and then punches it in the face. Meticulously rendered backgrounds are complemented by natural facial expressions and believable fight scenes. Layouts are creative and easy to follow; this book is great to look at.<br />
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<center><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-quJ-DMv3CLA/TYfvIQcyfCI/AAAAAAAAAbg/7g-OGXSOFNY/s1600/new+teen+titans+20+kid+flash+disruptor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="197" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-quJ-DMv3CLA/TYfvIQcyfCI/AAAAAAAAAbg/7g-OGXSOFNY/s320/new+teen+titans+20+kid+flash+disruptor.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></center><br />
This issue is definitely worth the sixty cent cover price, and it’s a great jumping-on story for new readers. If I had read this in ‘82, I would have picked up the next issue. </div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-34247406133962235792011-03-19T09:52:00.001-06:002011-03-23T23:15:07.342-06:00This Week in Web Video - March 13-19 2011I think everyone has seen this video by now:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="405" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/N9oxmRT2YWw?rel=0" title="YouTube video player" width="500"></iframe><br />
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...but I thought this remix was a riot:<br />
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<center>Happy St Patrick's Day<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" height="281" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/21139418?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" width="500"></iframe></center><br />
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This clip exploded overnight this week. The original was taken down, but there are mirrors everywhere:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="405" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/x7TPHEsy-IU?rel=0" title="YouTube video player" width="500"></iframe><br />
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Everyone says that the suplex was the best part, but I think it's nice that the tall girl stood up for him at the end. "I think you need to back off" indeed.<br />
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Of course, it wouldn't be news without NMA Media's CGI coverage:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="311" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kc_Vp9CkYko?rel=0" title="YouTube video player" width="500"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-44856136822134077292011-03-18T20:46:00.001-06:002011-03-23T23:15:33.841-06:00IDW's Dungeons & Dragons #1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-LYtUHk70MTE/TYQWzLyvBuI/AAAAAAAAAbM/16wYNB2lE6Y/s1600/dungeons+and+dragons+idw+1+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-LYtUHk70MTE/TYQWzLyvBuI/AAAAAAAAAbM/16wYNB2lE6Y/s400/dungeons+and+dragons+idw+1+cover.jpg" width="260" /></a></div><div><br />
</div><i>Dungeons & Dragons #1 (John Rogers, Andrea Di Vito)</i><br />
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I had skipped this book when it first came out because a lot of sword and sorcery fantasy is, to be frank, pretty terrible. Too many writers craft stories about dungeons and dragons and leave out what makes tabletop RPGs so great in the first place: character interaction. The best thing about tabletop games is the zany back-and-forth between players. The fact that this book is an officially licenced tie-in to Hasbro’s Dungeons & Dragons game system made me leery, but as I was browsing at my comic book store I decided to give this book a chance. I’m glad I did. Very few comics have that particular combination of action, wit, and insanity that immediately hooks me on page 1. IDW’s<i> D&D</i> #1 managed to hook me instantly with this splash page:<br />
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<center><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-OJ35OFnDTLQ/TYQXxl5oA6I/AAAAAAAAAbQ/9n0E6DUB8o4/s1600/dungeons+and+dragons+idw+zombie+orphans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-OJ35OFnDTLQ/TYQXxl5oA6I/AAAAAAAAAbQ/9n0E6DUB8o4/s400/dungeons+and+dragons+idw+zombie+orphans.jpg" width="257" /></a></center><br />
Oh, D&D. You had me at zombie orphans. <br />
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<i>Dungeons & Dragons #1</i> follows the exploits of an adventuring party consisting of an elf, a dwarf, a human, a halfling, and a tiefling (a humanoid with demonic ancestry). When townspeople begin to be possessed by the Shadowplague, the party gets caught up in a conspiracy that’s disrupting dimensional barriers. The witty banter is actually witty, and the humor is intentional, and humorous. This is another rarity in fantasy fiction.<br />
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<center><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-8qdIc5nffQI/TYQYARSr8lI/AAAAAAAAAbU/Kw9GNAwVz6c/s1600/dungeons+and+dragons+idw+handsomest+dwarf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-8qdIc5nffQI/TYQYARSr8lI/AAAAAAAAAbU/Kw9GNAwVz6c/s320/dungeons+and+dragons+idw+handsomest+dwarf.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></center><br />
IDWs <i>Dungeons & Dragons</i> looks and feels authentic. The writers and artists know and love the source material, and the book even has a character sheet in the back if you want to directly import 7th Level Knight Adric Fell into your campaign, either as a player or DM. As a D&D fan, I was immediately drawn in. I even found myself shouting “you fools! Don’t split the party” when the team splits up to investigate the Shadowplague. <br />
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In short, it’s a fun read and I look forward to picking up the collected edition when it comes out.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-8724142057773373482011-03-16T17:38:00.000-06:002011-03-16T17:38:03.237-06:00Movie Review: Battle: Los Angeles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-y4TzVpmiWWE/TYFJWf4BJWI/AAAAAAAAAbI/Kh0Ftu3NLkE/s1600/battle_los_angeles_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-y4TzVpmiWWE/TYFJWf4BJWI/AAAAAAAAAbI/Kh0Ftu3NLkE/s320/battle_los_angeles_poster.jpg" width="216" /></a></div>A note to all young men who watch this movie: If you join the Marines, you will not fight aliens in your backyard. You will go to Iraq where it is 120 Degrees Fahrenheit and you constantly hope that you don’t drive over an IED. The Marines in Battle: Los Angeles shout “Hoo-rah” a lot and kill lots of aliens, but the real military is hard work. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3iY45m0v1Y">Mostly</a>.<br />
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Battle: Los Angeles gets into the action quickly and barely takes a moment to breathe throughout it’s two hour running time. Alien invasion flicks are nothing new, but this is the first film to really combine gritty urban warfare with an alien ground army. Think Black Hawk Down, but substitute Mogadishu with LA and Somalians with cyborg aliens. And bump it down to PG-13. It sounds crazy, it’s played completely straight, and it works. <a name='more'></a><br />
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The sincerity will turn a lot of people off. Most sci-fi movies try to soften their blows with humour, nodding and winking at the screen, gently asking the audience to come along for the ride. Battle: Los Angeles never apologizes for having US Marines fight aliens. There’s no everyman character pointing out how ridiculous the entire situation is. Will Smith never shoes up and shouts “I’ve got to get me one o’ these!” There’s only a determined and resourceful Aaron Eckhart and his magnificent chin kicking alien ass and leading the resistance.<br />
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There’s a running plot about the almost-retired Staff Seagent Nantz (Eckhart) trying to earn the trust of his fellow soldiers after he had a disastrous command in Iraq, but we’re really only in the theatres to crap explode. And explode it does! Do yourself a favour and see this movie in a big screen with good sound. It’s a spectacle piece, so come for the spectacle and ignore what little plot there is. <br />
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It’s funny that the Canadian forces recruitment advertisement preceded this movie. Join the Canadian Armed Forces and you will battle frostbite and dope smugglers. Join the Marines and maybe you will fight cyborg aliens (or <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WZJX1g_HgM">sell cars</a>). <br />
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The Canadian military needs a better ad campaign. Or a better movie. I’d totally watch Battle: Vancouver if they make it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-21304329156255252792011-03-14T20:37:00.000-06:002011-03-14T20:37:16.706-06:00Back Issue Alphabet: M is for Marvel Premiere #41 (1978)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-LJ-k3-aAL6c/TX7PuvHRRaI/AAAAAAAAAa8/G-ipr11Gl70/s1600/seeker+3000+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-LJ-k3-aAL6c/TX7PuvHRRaI/AAAAAAAAAa8/G-ipr11Gl70/s400/seeker+3000+cover.jpg" width="260" /></a></div><br />
<i>Marvel Premiere #41: Seeker 3000 (Doug Moench, Tom Sutton)</i><br />
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At an unspecified time in the future, mankind has colonized our neighboring planets but has failed to “attain a safe warp drive and escape the solar-system.” This is a bummer, because the sun is about to “go nova” and mankind’s hope lies in the ship Seeker 3000 and a telepath who can generate warp fields. There is so much non-science in this book that it will burn the retinas of anyone possessing anything more than a high-school level understanding of physics. <a name='more'></a><br />
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Meaningful science fiction makes us evaluate our morals and beliefs by putting them into hypothetical (and often hyperbolic) situations. Seeker 3000 takes it’s ship design from Star Trek, but little else. The hero of the piece brings up idealism once or twice, but never actually mentions what his ideals are. <br />
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<center><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-O9dHGZigIdQ/TX7QASowwBI/AAAAAAAAAbA/rb77YpOyVAo/s1600/seeker+3000+idealist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-O9dHGZigIdQ/TX7QASowwBI/AAAAAAAAAbA/rb77YpOyVAo/s320/seeker+3000+idealist.jpg" width="320" /></a></center><br />
Protagonist Jordan Shaw is full of righteous indignation, but he doesn’t fight injustice and favouritism so much as he replaces it with his own brand. A villain can be a dark reflection of a hero, but when the hero’s actions are identical to the villain’s it’s just awkward, and the reader has nobody to root for. If the text box had specifically laid out the fact that he was a “former idealist disillusioned by corruption,” I would have just thought he was “marginally more community oriented yet still power hungry survivalist.”<br />
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Although the story is firmly grounded in schlocky, eye-rolling space opera, and the art is strictly service level, the book’s real strength is in the layout. Even with the schlocky sci-fi tropes, I couldn’t help but be impressed by how much story the artist was able to fit into 22 pages. And the story is not crammed haphazardly into corners and edges; the layout is organized and easy to follow.<br />
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<center><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-sAA7iYK9yEQ/TX7QHoSDdoI/AAAAAAAAAbE/C_wJlmA5J5o/s1600/seeker+3000+layout.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-sAA7iYK9yEQ/TX7QHoSDdoI/AAAAAAAAAbE/C_wJlmA5J5o/s400/seeker+3000+layout.jpg" width="267" /></a></center><br />
Apparently, there wasn’t much demand for more Seeker 3000. The ship and her crew disappeared until 1998, when a four issue limited series was released detailed the adventures of the crew 25 years after the initial launch.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-177528935441706702011-03-12T12:22:00.001-07:002011-03-23T23:15:57.637-06:00This Week in Web Video - March 6-12 2011<div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The Merry Knitter</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="281" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/20773532?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" width="500"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The Fantastic Mr Star Fox</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><object data="http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1948884&fullscreen=1" height="360" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"/><param name="wmode" value="transparent"/><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"/><param name="movie" quality="best" value="http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1948884&fullscreen=1"/><embed src="http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1948884&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="640" height="360" allowScriptAccess="always"></embed></object></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0000ee;"><u><br />
</u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Super Mario Bros With Modern Sound Effects</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="405" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/u9wp6cz0A1o?rel=0" title="YouTube video player" width="500"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Ground Cracking and Moving - Japan</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="311" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/j6K6JcAB9T0?rel=0" title="YouTube video player" width="500"></iframe></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-62838250117307174082011-03-11T17:22:00.001-07:002011-03-11T17:26:50.813-07:00Star Wars Comics: Old Republic and Lost Command<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Both of these titles have been out for a few months, but my curiosity finally got the better of me, and since I began hosting a Star Wars: Saga Edition game, I figured I may be able to find some inspiration in them. </div><br />
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<center><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-yuOiHTazw1c/TXq6J5FJ5QI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/Jf5mcxvca5Q/s1600/old+republic+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-yuOiHTazw1c/TXq6J5FJ5QI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/Jf5mcxvca5Q/s400/old+republic+cover.jpg" width="260" /></a></center><br />
<i>Star Wars: The Old Republic #1: The Threat of Peace (Rob Chestney, Alex Sanchez, Michael Atiyeh)</i><br />
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Taking place after the events of the Knights of the Old Republic 1 and 2 games, The Old Republic is the era in which Bioware’s upcoming MMORPG is set in. The book was released to expand on the back story of the game and it smacks of product tie-in. <br />
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It covers the story of the Jedi/Sith ceasefire on several planets. On Coruscant, the Sith invade and hold the planet hostage to give them a stronger negotiating position. On Dantooine, two bounty hunters, one Sith employed and the other Republic, are after each other. Then Korriban gets two pages of intrigue and Nar Shadda gets one page. The story is disjointed and spread thin, and even though it has more pages than an average comic, it doesn’t set up any cohesive story. The book ends almost in the middle of a thought. Not even a “To be continued” on the last page. Plus, the art isn’t very good. Somewhere along the lines, a digital component went completely haywire causing a pixelated effect and half of the characters look like they need a telethon. <br />
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<center><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-F1p5mi2taFg/TXq64CdluAI/AAAAAAAAAaU/WMdvSmXJVIw/s1600/old+republic+hurp+derp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="118" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-F1p5mi2taFg/TXq64CdluAI/AAAAAAAAAaU/WMdvSmXJVIw/s400/old+republic+hurp+derp.jpg" width="400" /></a></center><br />
This story would probably read better in a trade, but nothing caught my attention enough to make me want to follow this series. <br />
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<center><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-10e9Jv_ss1g/TXq7BmnWurI/AAAAAAAAAaY/VHMcN0gFoaU/s1600/last+command+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-10e9Jv_ss1g/TXq7BmnWurI/AAAAAAAAAaY/VHMcN0gFoaU/s400/last+command+cover.jpg" width="258" /></a></center><br />
<i>Star Wars: Darth Vader and the Lost Command #1 (Haden Blackman, Rick Leonardi, Daniel Green)</i><br />
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Lost Command opens up to an idyllic setting on Naboo, with Anakin Skywalker discussing his future with his pregnant wife. It’s underscored by the use of uninked pencils, giving it an ethereal feel.<br />
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<center><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-flLNykyMZ4o/TXq7IcqDlZI/AAAAAAAAAac/1fkIP41zGEc/s1600/last+command+dream.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="393" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-flLNykyMZ4o/TXq7IcqDlZI/AAAAAAAAAac/1fkIP41zGEc/s400/last+command+dream.jpg" width="400" /></a></center><br />
This is however, a dream, and it contrasts quite forcefully with the next page:<br />
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<center><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-FFQmVI8C5rQ/TXq7SVFiJjI/AAAAAAAAAag/wnWx2jB85HI/s1600/last+command+naked+vader.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-FFQmVI8C5rQ/TXq7SVFiJjI/AAAAAAAAAag/wnWx2jB85HI/s400/last+command+naked+vader.jpg" width="355" /></a></center><br />
The Jedi have fallen, the Emperor is in command, and Vader requires routine maintenance to survive. This issue focuses on Vader’s orders to subdue the Atoan system and recover a missing Imperial officer. It’s great to see a fully armoured Vader leading Stormtroopers and using force powers to capture a city. Using the force to cause a blizzard that blinds snipers? Certified radical. <br />
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<center><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-nsK8eTdQJeE/TXq7rsIIzPI/AAAAAAAAAao/f44fex3K7RY/s1600/last+command+arctic+combat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-nsK8eTdQJeE/TXq7rsIIzPI/AAAAAAAAAao/f44fex3K7RY/s400/last+command+arctic+combat.jpg" width="400" /></a></center><br />
Notice anything different about these three pages? I don’t know if it’s the artist, inker, or colorist, but someone had the initiative to make an artistic decision regarding the space outside the panels. The use of different colours for background makes a significant impact on the mood of the scene, and I’m glad to see a book pay attention to that. <br />
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The issue ends with a twist that comes out of nowhere, but it’s intriguing, and the art is enough for me to want to see the outcome of the story. I’ll most likely pick up the trade when it’s out.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-11133526126231187342011-03-09T10:26:00.001-07:002011-03-09T10:27:16.682-07:00Movie Review: Rango<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ylOlYO9lROw/TXe3zTOX0pI/AAAAAAAAAZ8/WC-OvJOQ1kY/s1600/Rango+Movie+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ylOlYO9lROw/TXe3zTOX0pI/AAAAAAAAAZ8/WC-OvJOQ1kY/s320/Rango+Movie+Poster.jpg" width="216" /></a></div><i>Rango </i>is the story of a cosmopolitan chameleon (Jonny Depp) leading a life of bored contentment with his imaginary friends and independent theatre productions. During a cross country trip he is ejected from his owners’ car and sees this as an opportunity to redefine himself. After telling a few tall tales and accidentally killing a hawk, he takes the name “Rango” off a bottle of cactus juice and is made the sheriff of the town of Dirt, which is in the crippling grip of a water shortage. <br />
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<i>Rango </i>is a parody/homage to classic westerns like <i>Magnificent Seven</i> and <i>The Man With No Name</i>. It’s a bit slow in the first act, but overall the great performances and spectacular visuals make it an enjoyable and surprisingly edgy action/comedy/fantasy/western. It really does run the gamut. Rango is a lot more enjoyable when it goes for the visual and situation humor; there are a bunch of side jokes that are very hit or miss, and it’s the misses that stop <i>Rango </i>from being as good as it could have been. <a name='more'></a><br />
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For am anthropomorphic animal cartoon, it’s surprisingly edgy. This is a wild west town, and the critter denizens have guns, cuss, kill and get killed. If you’re not comfortable with an exchange like “Go to Hell!” “Where do you think I came from?” you may not want to take your kids to this one. <br />
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From a technical standpoint, the lighting and textures are, without question, the best I’ve seen on screen, including Avatar. Yeah, I went there. Creatures are dusty, scarred, inbred (!) and tobacco stained. They’re gross and gritty, and this is the first animated wide-release film that really goes in that direction. <br />
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It’s hobbled by moments of weak writing and it will have trouble finding an audience, but I recommend seeing <i>Rango</i>. And if the notion of a rattlesnake with a chain-gun tail sounds wicked sweet, you need to see this movie.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-36667566877472686322011-03-07T22:33:00.000-07:002011-03-07T22:33:46.364-07:00Back-Issue Alphabet: L is for Legends of the DC Universe #41<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-9KJTtAswHbc/TXW9_8X_MuI/AAAAAAAAAZs/Pe6Zo-i2xYw/s1600/legends+dc+universe+41+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-9KJTtAswHbc/TXW9_8X_MuI/AAAAAAAAAZs/Pe6Zo-i2xYw/s400/legends+dc+universe+41+cover.jpg" width="258" /></a></div><br />
<i>Legends of the DC Universe #41 Lessons in Time Part Two of Two (Todd Dezargo, Rich Faber, Drew Johnson)</i><br />
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I love this cover. I have no idea what’s supposed to be going on, but I love it. I’m guessing that The Atom teams up with a temporally displaced World War 2 velociraptor battalion. The cover was so radical that I bent the rules of <a href="http://certainlymotivated.blogspot.com/search/label/Back-Issue%20Alphabet">Back-Issue Alphabet</a> and checked the box I randomly pulled #41 out of for #40. It was right next to it, so I picked it up. It takes a bit out of the randomness of the Back Issue Alphabet project, but the way I see it is if a reader randomly took this book of the self in 2001, he would be smart enough to see “part one of two” on the cover and check if part one was on the shelf beside it, which is what I did. Because I’m smart enough. <a name='more'></a><div><br />
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“Lessons in Time” features Ray Palmer, the Atom, a scientist at Ivy University who can shrink himself down and manipulate mass. Ray is also an advisor to J.D., a smart but cocky student on the brink of losing his scholarship. Ray is having more success at exploring a tiny portal that allows a tiny person to travel through time than he is at motivating J.D., and he’s worried that he’s a poor teacher. <br />
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Meanwhilest, the villain Chronos, breaks into Ray’s lab and begins harnessing energy from the tiny portal for personal, criminal gain. He plans to use this energy to travel through time, becoming history’s greatest criminal. <br />
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<center><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/--ga-LFoLNjY/TXW-KVGzG8I/AAAAAAAAAZw/_MMFH5JtCM0/s1600/legends+dc+chronos+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/--ga-LFoLNjY/TXW-KVGzG8I/AAAAAAAAAZw/_MMFH5JtCM0/s400/legends+dc+chronos+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></center><br />
Nice. Something goes wrong and time begins to tear itself apart, and thus we find dinosaurs, WW2 tanks, flying cars and giant robots appearing on Ivy University’s campus, and it’s up to the Atom to save time. <br />
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Here’s a neat thing: there’s a cabinet arcade game that J.D. is playing on with the title “Aucoin Fighter II” and on the side says “Do battle with Derec!” I’m guessing this is referencing comic book artist <a href="http://www.comicbookdb.com/creator.php?ID=608">Derec Aucoin</a> (thanks Google!)<br />
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I really liked these issues. Both stories have a satisfying resolution, and we learn enough about these characters to care about them. If I can have one petty complain, it’s that Chronos has a terrible costume. I know the premise for Legends of the DC Universe is that the stories are stand-alone tales that take place sometime in the past, and a lot of costumes were abysmal back then. Case in point: he’s got a high cape. The only people who should be allowed to wear high collar capes are wizards, vampires, and Beldar. <br />
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<center><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-IjvM0IW9xoE/TXW-bCE7kMI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/RH1HBg4C988/s1600/high+collar+cape+law.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-IjvM0IW9xoE/TXW-bCE7kMI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/RH1HBg4C988/s320/high+collar+cape+law.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></center><br />
Besides that, Johnson’s art is superb; he draws each character distinctively, his facial expressions are on par with <a href="http://certainlymotivated.blogspot.com/2011/02/back-issue-alphabet-j-is-for-justice.html">Adam Hughes</a> and his layouts are imaginative and easy to follow.<br />
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Unfortunately, this was the last issue of <i>Legends of the DC Universe</i>, so I wouldn’t be able to follow it if I wanted to. I would, however, try to find other works by artist Drew Johnson and writers Todd Dezago and Rich Faber. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-52168975660366768282011-03-03T19:13:00.000-07:002011-03-03T19:13:18.047-07:00The Continuing Adventures of NBC’s “The Cape” - Razor<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-3FdqETZysWA/TXBJpC7no6I/AAAAAAAAAZQ/4A7m-TaqSjw/s1600/the+cape+9+intro.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-3FdqETZysWA/TXBJpC7no6I/AAAAAAAAAZQ/4A7m-TaqSjw/s400/the+cape+9+intro.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br />
“Razer” is a lot more straightforward than the last two episodes. Gang warfare has escalated between Scales and Fleming, with a shootout taking place right in Trip and Dana’s neighborhood. Scales is trying to muscle in on Max’s territory, Trolley Park, by beating up Rollo and hiring a mysterious Australian bomber named Razer to flush Max out. Nobody in Scale’s gang had ever seen him face to face, so Faraday and the gang intercept Razer’s car, kidnap him, and replace him with Faraday. This means that half of the episode is Faraday undercover and speaking in a hilarious Australian accent. <br />
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Meanwhile, Orwell isn’t doing so great. She’s distant, sluggish, has no snappy comebacks and is wasting time on the computer:<br />
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It seems there are some residual side effects to the Lich’s zombie drug. Also, Fleming is seeing his shrink about Chess; it turns out he has something of a split personality, and Chess has been whispering to Fleming at inopportune moments. <br />
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Of course, the highlight of this entire episode was the scene were Scales gathers his goons and the incognito Faraday around a table and reveals...<br />
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<center><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-N3eFilyMvl4/TXBJ2Mzq7FI/AAAAAAAAAZY/NzeSFA7VuYg/s1600/cape+9+cake.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-N3eFilyMvl4/TXBJ2Mzq7FI/AAAAAAAAAZY/NzeSFA7VuYg/s400/cape+9+cake.png" width="400" /></a></center><br />
...cake. Not even a poison cake. From what I can gather it was a normal, red velvet cake. It looked delicious, too. He gives a piece of cake to each of his goons for their accomplishments, until he reveals that the real Razer has contacted him, calling out Faraday with the line, “No cake for YOU!” <br />
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It’s insane, and I can’t possibly make fun of this. There’s no way a group of human beings were sitting around a writing table and saying to themselves “this is going to be the most dramatic and visceral sequence in television.” They were saying, “Hey, we’ve already got Vinnie Jones in reptile make-up. You know what would be radical? If he served his cronies cake. Let’s go nuts with this.” And nuts they did go. They beat up Faraday, torture hm for a bit, and Max comes in and saves him. This is the sort of over-the-top, manic intensity that I like in my cheesy serial action shows. <br />
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Next week is the season finale, “Endgame,” which also has a good chance at being the series finale as well. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-54964372587794263472011-03-02T16:44:00.001-07:002011-03-02T16:44:57.959-07:00The Continuing Adventures of NBC’s “The Cape” - The Lich<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ItCwEi2KYvk/TW7UtkcrkFI/AAAAAAAAAY8/I3wp7NE_rq8/s1600/cape+8+1+title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ItCwEi2KYvk/TW7UtkcrkFI/AAAAAAAAAY8/I3wp7NE_rq8/s400/cape+8+1+title.png" /></a></div>So far, <i>The Cape</i> has been all over the place, quality wise. It’s run the gamut of “so bad it’s good” “so bad it’s embarrassing” while occasionally dipping into “legitimately entertaining.” I’m a bit behind on my <i>The Cape</i> watching, so today we’ll look at “The Lich” parts one and two, and tomorrow we’ll look at “Razer”<br />
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Part 1 begins with a tall, creepy man in a fedora spraying powder on a woman in a truck rental lot. After the credits, Rollo and Max find Faraday to ask him for his detective expertise. Janet, the woman from the rental place and an old friend of Rollo turned up dead, was buried, and her body was exhumed. Faraday inspects the grave and finds that she wasn’t exhumed, she clawed her way out. Zombies? Oh, I hope so. <br />
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Meanwhile, Orwell is meeting with Patrick Portman. He’s providing her with information that could thwart Flemming’s plan to turn Palm City ports into a free trade gun-running zone.<br />
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In order to keep the ports out of Flemming’s hands, she needs to find the missing heir of the family that owned the land. After receiving a tip from a nurse at The Orchard Sanitarium, Orwell goes to find the missing heir, and falls into a trap set by The Lich. <br />
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Max, Rollo and Faraday find a drugged and hypnotized Janet, who after a bit of detoxing and dehypnotizing, directs them to a “staging area for a terrorist attack,” complete with well labelled maps and WHMIS labelled neurotoxin vats. Zombie terrorists? Oh, I hope so. <br />
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Faraday meets up with the creepy man in the fedora and takes him out, but it turns out that he’s not The Lich. <br />
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In part 2 follows up with Faraday trying to find and rescue Orwell, who spends most of the episode in a drug induced hallucination. I’m not sure which is creepier, the Lich fawning over her:<br />
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or her hallucination where she’s engaged to Faraday.<br />
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This episode actually had a bit of ground in Haitian voodoo folklore, in which a person would be drugged, kidnapped, brainwashed into believing he or she was a zombie, and then enslaved. It doesn’t make a ton of sense scientifically, but it was cool and creepy in a live action cartoon sort of way. “The Lich” had a great twist, a legitimately unnerving villain, and Rollo kicking guys in the shins. Apparently The Cape only has two episodes to go before season one is complete, so here’s hoping that it maintains this upward direction in quality. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-23468718063569891072011-03-01T23:44:00.000-07:002011-03-01T23:44:38.365-07:00Movie Review: Justin Bieber: Never Say Never<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-BN4ThXkR7WI/TW3megls4sI/AAAAAAAAAY4/Z5pjcyXr7iM/s1600/Justin-Bieber-Never-Say-Never-Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-BN4ThXkR7WI/TW3megls4sI/AAAAAAAAAY4/Z5pjcyXr7iM/s320/Justin-Bieber-Never-Say-Never-Poster.jpg" width="216" /></a></div><div>In honour of Canada’s newest national holiday, Justin Bieber’s Birthday, I decided to take in a documentary, specifically, <i>Justin Bieber: Never Say Never - Director’s [Fan] Cut in 3D</i>. </div><br />
Don't be fooled;<i> Never Say Never</i> is not a prequel to the 1983 James Bond film, <i>Never Say Never Again</i>.<i> </i>Rather, it's a documentary style<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> look at the rise of teen-pop sensation Justin Bieber, with his sold-out Madison Square Garden performance as a backdrop for the story. However,</span> Justin Bieber: Never Say Never</i> is not so much a documentary as it is a commercial for the Bieber Media Empire. But if Old Spice has taught us anything, it’s that commercials can be legitimately entertaining narratives. <a name='more'></a><br />
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It’s fascinating to watch as a cross-section of our interconnected, socially-networked human experience. Five years ago, this story never would have happened. Bieber had no agent, no professional training, and no industry connections. Bieber’s talent-show performances were discovered on YouTube, a free hosting site. He had self promotion through Twitter, a free messenger service. The Internet may not be the perfect equalizer, but it certainly levels the playing field. <br />
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If I may put on my “One Semester of Documentary Screenwriting in College” hat, I will draw your attention to a bit of drama in the third act, when a doctor advises him to cancel a show because of a throat infection. This is due to a lack of rest, brought on by Bieber’s congenial personality and a refusal to stop talking. This neglect, and the cancelled performance that resulted from it, could have been a learning moment, or at least a moral lesson, but in the film he got sick, cancelled a show, and got better. Not much dramatic rise and fall, but I honestly wasn’t expecting a hard-hitting look into a tortured psyche. <br />
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Truth be told the only Justin Bieber song that I’ve listened to all the way through was “U Smile” slowed down 800% (which has since disappeared from the Internet. Come over to my house if you want to listen to it, it’s pretty trippy), so I never had a major opinion on him one way or the other. After watching his biogrammercial, he appears to be a legitimately talented, charismatic, hard-working kid with the ego that you would expect from a teenage boy with millions of fans. He's a bit obnoxious, but it's really hard to hate a guy after watching so much home video of him as a toddler.<br />
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I honestly can’t recommend you go out of your way to see <i>Never Say Never</i>, but if your woman wants to watch something sugary for movie night, you could do a whole lot worse. And you’ll probably get major boyfriend points if you sing along to “Baby” during the finale (they put the words up on the screen). <br />
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Happy birthday, Justin Bieber. <br />
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Get well soon.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-2727069365993079652011-02-28T20:03:00.000-07:002011-02-28T20:03:57.802-07:00Back Issue Alphabet: K is for Ka-Zar #3 (1974)<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-QaIjp39yY18/TWxgZ652lXI/AAAAAAAAAYg/epnW0iYmzp0/s1600/kazar+3+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-QaIjp39yY18/TWxgZ652lXI/AAAAAAAAAYg/epnW0iYmzp0/s400/kazar+3+cover.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><br />
</div><div><i>Ka-Zar #3 (Mike Friedrich, Don Heck, Mike Royer)</i></div><div><br />
</div>For anyone not in the know, Ka-Zar is Marvel’s version of Tarzan, but instead of an ape named Cheeta, Ka-Zar has a sabre-toothed cat name Zabu. And instead of Africa, Ka-Zar lives in the Savage Land, Marvel’s version of <i>The Lost World</i>.<br />
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The cover is... vibrant. A giant bald guy wearing Renaissance fair boots is punching a tree and shouting while Ka-Zar and Zabu leap at him. Also, there is a woman with a ripped blouse staring directly at Ka-Zar’s loincloth with a horrified expression. Who ripped her blouse? Who messed up her face? Will she actually appear in the comic (spoiler alert: not really)?<br />
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<i>Ka-Zar #3: Night of the Man-God</i> (as opposed to the “might of the Man-God” which was mentioned on the front page) is full of everything that made comics ridiculous in the 70s, almost all of which is encapsulated on the splash page:<br />
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Walls of exposition boxes describe the actions occurring on the page. Characters speak exposition out loud. Blue infoboxes explain things that occurred in other books. Ah, 70s mainstream comics.<br />
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I’m going to nitpick like crazy for a second here, taking apart the narrative box which mentions “a murder minded snake”:<br />
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<a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/murder">mur·der</a> <br />
–noun<br />
1. <i>Law </i>. the killing of another human being under conditions specifically covered in law. In the U.S., special statutory definitions include murder committed with malice aforethought, characterized by deliberation or premeditation or occurring during the commission of another serious crime,as robbery or arson (first-degree murder), and murder by intent but without deliberation or premeditation (second-degree murder).<br />
2. <i>Slang</i> . something extremely difficult or perilous: *That final exam was murder!*<br />
3. a group or flock of crows.<br />
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<div>Murder is when humans kill humans. The snake is just hungry, man. No need to demonize it. Or maybe the writer is implying that the snake was literally thinking about crows.<br />
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Anyway, Ka-Zar and Zabu defeat the snake, and we move on to another exposition filled introduction. A super-pissed off “Maa-Gor, The Man-Ape”, who we learn was defeated by Ka-Zaar and Shanna the She-Devil in the previous issue, digs himself out of the rubble of a collapsed wizard’s castle on Skull Island (just go with it). He swims from Skull Island to shore, beats up an alligator, and ventures into the Mystic Mists. These Mists gave Ka-Zar his powers, but no Man-Ape has ever entered them and lived. But, as Maa-Gor is the last of his kind, “what is left then, but to look death full in her face--and leap into her ravishing arms?” As corny as Silver Age narrative text bars are, I freaking loved that line. Maa-Gor mutates from a dull-witted neanderthal into a seven foot tall yellow Spock, and with his new-found intelligence and vaguely defined superpowers, he decrees both his vengeance on Ka-Zar and a desire to conquer to world of men. And now he calls himself Man-God. Aim high, Maa-Gor. Aim high. <br />
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It’s a haphazard story full of events that don’t really make sense, including a character appearance that makes no sense and is only there so that another character (the girl in the red shirt, who looks nothing in the book like she does on the cover) can find her way to the Savage Land. <br />
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As for the art, its hard to tell if the images are doing a good job of telling a story when each panel is accompanied with a text box describing the action. It like trying to enjoy a movie with a friend who keeps saying “Watch this part, it’s important.” Also, the fact that Ka-Zar has no nipples creeps me out. Was that a side effect of the Mystic Mists, or were artists not allowed to draw nipples under the Comics Code Authority? <br />
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The real treasure here is the book’s centrefold: a detailed map of the Savage Land, giving it a specific location on Antarctica and showing the divisions of dinosaur habitation. Apparently the dinosaurs of the Savage Land organize themselves in order of historical appearance. Check out the inserts, which include a detailed image of the Mystic Mists. You know, in case anyone wondered what mist look like. Minus the humans, I’m pretty sure I drew something exactly like this map when I was eight, dinosaur identification chart included (although I was dino-savvy enough to know that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brontosaurus">brontosaur</a> [sic] wasn’t a real dinosaur). <br />
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<i>Ka-Zar #3</i> is a Silver Age mess that ends with a giant yellow Spock in a pink and blue leotard fighting a guy with no nipples. There were not enough dinosaurs in this book to make me keep reading it. <br />
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And for the ladies, beefcake: <br />
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Ka-Zar posing sexfully with a decapitated anaconda. <br />
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You’re welcome. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-46954432120072637372011-02-19T19:11:00.001-07:002011-02-19T19:11:28.853-07:00Done in One: Marvel Vault Doctor Strange<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><cover><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Lbjd9WR3iHE/TWB3aY6NbbI/AAAAAAAAAYU/dUKbJEv4tTM/s1600/doctor+strange+vault+cover.jpg"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Lbjd9WR3iHE/TWB3aY6NbbI/AAAAAAAAAYU/dUKbJEv4tTM/s400/doctor+strange+vault+cover.jpg" width="258" /></a></cover></div><br />
<i>Marvel Vault: Doctor Strange, script by Roger Stern, pencils by Neil Vokes</i><br />
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In comics biz there are a lot of projects that almost make it to publication, but for one reason or another are shelved indefinitely. The Marvel Vault is a series of one-shots that have been pulled from editorial limbo and into the light of publication.<br />
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<i>Marvel Vault: Doctor Strange</i> is a crash course in Dr Strange lore. It succinctly features the origins of both his powers and his headquarters, the Sanctum Sanctorum. In this book, (full title: <i>Doctor Strange: From the Marvel Vault No. 1</i>) a young Stephen Strange purchases a house with a sordid reputation. According to the realtor, there have been six previous houses built on that lot going back centuries, all of which “came to mysterious ends--most often through fire.” <br />
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However, Dr Strange recognizes the house as a focus for supernatural energies, which leads him to investigate a strange and sinister presence. If you’re a Doctor Strange neophyte (like I am) it’s a fun story, but long time followers of the good doctor may be sick of the origin story. <br />
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The illustration is great, ranging from dark and moody within the confines of the home to to surreal and spectacular when travelling the astral plane or battling the chaos-entity, Tyanon. <br />
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It’s a solid one-shot. It doesn’t bring anything new to the table, but if you’re looking for a Doctor Strange primer, this is a good book to pick up. I’m looking forward to what else comes out of the Marvel Vault.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-92045517887198358762011-02-16T18:47:00.002-07:002011-02-16T18:52:11.090-07:00Movie Review: The Eagle<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5zOepVLdGdw/TVx9_VhVGsI/AAAAAAAAAYQ/sWQMLReAlBE/s1600/the+eagle+movie+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5zOepVLdGdw/TVx9_VhVGsI/AAAAAAAAAYQ/sWQMLReAlBE/s320/the+eagle+movie+poster.jpg" width="216" /></a></div><div>Kevin Macdonald’s <i>The Eagle</i> is based on the 1954 novel <i>The Eagle of the Ninth</i> by Rosemary Sutcliff. It’s the second century AD, and when the 9th Legion of the Roman Empire and their eagle standard disappear in northern Britain, Ceasar has the Hadrian wall built to mark the end of the civilized world. Marcus Aquila (Channing Tatum) is the son of the 9th’s commanding officer, and his family bears the burden of the loss of the eagle standard. When Marcus hears rumor that the eagle is being displayed as a trophy by northern tribes, he and his slave Esca (Jamie Bell) set off into the north to recover the eagle and restore Marcus’ honour. </div><a name='more'></a><br />
It has slaves, native tribes and invaders, but <i>The Eagle</i> is no <i>Avatar</i>. Marcus doesn’t learn a neat little lesson about how conquering and raping is wrong. He doesn’t feel any different about slavery or Empire by the end of his heroic quest. He doesn’t even really care how many natives he kills to accomplish his goals. This is acceptable filmmaking because The Eagle features white people fighting white people, both of which do their share of pillaging and murder so you don’t feel bad about choosing a side. Even so, there really aren’t any typically modern heroes in this story. There are savage conquerors and conquered savages. But in this ancient world, a man’s word and his code of honour is stronger than his hate. <br />
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Looking past the uncomfortable setting, <i>The Eagle</i> successfully delivers a satisfying story of honor, friendship, and redemption. It’s really refreshing to watch a story in the form of the epic with no magic involved. A guy searching for an artifact to restore family honour just goes down smoother than a guy who has to find the seventh magic crystal of the forgotten empire of stars before the lunar convalescence falls upon wintersongs blah blah fantasy blah blah bla. Without using magic as a crutch, Marcus’ journey is much more emotionally satisfying. <br />
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Ultimately, <i>The Eagle</i> its a story about honour and pride. It’s an ancient and perplexing sort of honour that we don’t have much use for in the modern world, but it’s inspirational in its own primitive way. <br />
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Also, the fight scenes kick serious ass.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-19276356112691179412011-02-14T23:38:00.001-07:002011-02-14T23:39:40.248-07:00Back Issue Alphabet: J is for Justice League America #51 (1991)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AXWAdBs6x20/TVodswlhJ4I/AAAAAAAAAYE/NFyAXEnL_2o/s1600/justice+league+america+51+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AXWAdBs6x20/TVodswlhJ4I/AAAAAAAAAYE/NFyAXEnL_2o/s400/justice+league+america+51+cover.jpg" width="262" /></a></div><br />
<i>Justice League America</i> #51 (<i>J.M. DeMatteis, Keith Giffen, Adam Hughes</i>) (1991)<br />
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Out of all the books I’ve reviewed for <a href="http://certainlymotivated.blogspot.com/search/label/Back-Issue%20Alphabet">Back Issue Alphabet</a>, this is the first issue from a series that I’ve previously read. I’ve enjoyed volumes one through four of J.M. DeMatteis and Keith Giffen’s <i>Justice league International</i>, which encompasses issues #1 through #30 of the series. It changed it’s name to "Justice League America" to differentiate itself from its spin-off, <i>Justice League Europe</i>.<br />
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In <i>Justice League America</i> #51, the furry Green Lantern G’nort (the g is silent) decides to check in on his friends at Justice League America headquarters to see if anyone wants to hang out. He finds another alien Green Lantern, the monstrous Killowog, bored out of his mind and looking for any excuse to leave the house. Not wanting them to run around New York unaccompanied, J'onn J'onzz goes with them. Killowog wants to go to a few dozen bars and hit on some babes (!), but J’onn says that to avoid trouble they’ll simply take in a Broadway show and have dinner at a fancy restaurant. <br />
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Hijinks inevitably ensue. <br />
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<i>Justice League International</i> was a fascinating series. While most superhero comics were slowly morphing from the grim-n-gritty 80s into the X-TREEM 90s, JLI was created to be a more lighthearted book, and was often just as funny as it was dramatic. In addition to DeMatteis and Giffen’s original take on team dynamics and character development, the book features brilliant artwork by Adam Hughes. There are very few artists that can capture the full spectrum of human facial expressions like Hughes, and he can translate that talent on to aliens as well. These three creators together on one book is usually a delight. <br />
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But, G’nort. Ugh... G’nort is the Jar Jar Binks of the DC universe. He’s supposed to be the comic relief, but he just comes across as terribly irritating. Also depressing. The other heroes in the DC universe are quite vocal of their contempt for G’nort, often to his face, yet he’s so completely oblivious to social cues that he consistently mistakes outright hostility for friendship. <br />
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He’s useless and obnoxious. That’s his gag. His <i>entire </i>gag. You either love his wacky antics or you despise him. As for myself, I can’t stand him. G’nort being obnoxious to the Martian Manhunter is just that: obnoxious. It’s like dog-people versus not-dog-people. When a dog tracks mud through the house, barfs in the guest's shoes and bites a toddler in the throat, a dog-person says “oh, that crazy adorable dog!” while a non-dog-person says “you should seriously think about killing that dog.” At least when Guy Gardener was being obnoxious Batman KO-ed him with one punch. G’nort just whines until he gets his way.<br />
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And that’s a shame, since there’s some really great character interaction between Killowog and J’onn, along with a side story about a criminal with “hero-phobia.”<br />
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If this was the first issue I read, not even Adam Hughes’ spectacular artwork would have brought me back. Good thing I started with issue #1!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-20563373025135363902011-02-09T22:33:00.001-07:002011-02-09T22:33:30.881-07:00The Continuing Adventures of NBC’s “The Cape”<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
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This week we’ll be looking at episode 5 and 6, “Dice” and “Goggles and Hicks.” Overall, these were good episodes, but <i>The Cape</i> is still having problems with scenes and lines that just don’t make any sense. <br />
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In Episode 5 “Dice,” Flemming is targeted for assassination by a savant named “Dice,” who calculates probability on the scale of quantum mechanics. Real science is hard, but pseudo science is fun, and easy! This leads to some pretty cool visuals while Dice is analyzing probability. <br />
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Orwell points out that if Flemming is dead, Faraday won’t be able to connect the Chess murders to him, and thus will have a lot harder time clearing his name. He’s put in the awkward position of having to protect Flemming against an assassin that can practically see into the future. <br />
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In order to sneak into Flemming’s building to protect him, Faraday decides that he needs to learn to tightrope walk. This leads to a montage of circus training where he learns the basics of tightrope walking. I’m all for consistency and themes, but why does he have to tightrope walk? Why can’t he just get the wire across the buildings and then shimmy across? Like, keep his knees around the wire and pull himself with his hands? It doesn’t really make sense. <br />
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Episode 6, “Goggles and Hicks” seems promising enough at first. It starts with Flemming meeting up with the two man assassin team of Goggles and Hicks. Flemming presents Goggles with an issue of “The Cape” comic book, which leads to a pretty great line from Goggles: “Ah, the Cape #106. Written by Trevor Pooly, pencils by EJ Chester... you want to kill one of them. Have you seen their work in Retroman? It’s a real crime to lose that talent, but a job is a job, I suppose. Pencil through the eye! Now that would be ironic!” Which leads to this exchange:<br />
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More or less. We then meet up with Faraday and go back in time to another tiresome flashback, this time it’s a Saturday morning with Faraday and his wife having a bit of kissy time in the kitchen. Which leads to possibly the worst line in television history:<br />
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Faraday: I’d like to start with breakfast.<br />
Dana: How do you want your egg?<br />
Faraday: Fertilized.<br />
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NNNNGGGG-WHAT!? Oh god no! Just... no... NO! No... that... no! That’s neither romantic nor sexy nor cute nor... appetizing, that’s just... god, no. <i>The Cape</i> just ruined sex AND breakfast for me. <br />
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Urg. Well, Goggles and Hicks take the job to take on the Cape. But these aren’t your average assassins. These guys like to give their opponents every single opportunity to escape, despite their ability to kill a guy from a sniper shot two miles away. Instead of doing that, they send a remote controlled drone. <br />
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That doesn’t work because the drone is thwarted by five feet of tunnel. Long story short, Orwell does some computer voodoo, backtracks the signal, and they capture Goggles and send him to prison. Without Goggles, Hicks is just sort of a spazz. So the Cape survives this encounter with assassins because they’re written as the most inept assassins of all time. Go team Faraday. To end things off, Faraday shows up at the Circus, says hi to Max, and leaves. It was supposed to tie into something they said earlier in the episodes but it just came off as clunky and awkward.<br />
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As of episode six, <i>The Cape</i> is still enjoyable on a goofy level, and Keith David is still the sexiest, wine swilling carnie on television. <br />
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<center><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-y8ZZ-cM3xmU/TVN33qZWh4I/AAAAAAAAAYA/ow5LxkXrYd4/s1600/the+cape+6+max.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-y8ZZ-cM3xmU/TVN33qZWh4I/AAAAAAAAAYA/ow5LxkXrYd4/s400/the+cape+6+max.png" width="400" /></a></center>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6151637719271538321.post-22785920487758395712011-02-07T21:33:00.002-07:002011-02-07T21:35:43.141-07:00Back Issue Alphabet: I is for Iron Man: Director of Shield #31<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3aKGhN1J8Xs/TVDHGIaHldI/AAAAAAAAAXg/1L6lmOkvfNc/s1600/iron+man+31+stuart+moore.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3aKGhN1J8Xs/TVDHGIaHldI/AAAAAAAAAXg/1L6lmOkvfNc/s400/iron+man+31+stuart+moore.jpg" width="261" /></a></div><br />
<i>Iron Man: Director of Shield #31 With Iron Hands Part 3 of 4 (Stuart Moore, Carlo Pagulayan, Steve Kurth)</i><br />
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The cover is a very nice drawing of Tony in armour, which is lost in a sea of hundreds of very nice drawings of Tony in armour just sort of standing around or flying. I really wish comic book covers were more like they were in the 80s and earlier, where the cover was relevant to what was actually going on in the book itself. <br />
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I’ve been following <i>Iron Man</i> comics since Matt Fraction took over in 2009, so it was interesting to see this issue come up in my random selections. In “With Iron Hands,” Tony has to deal with the consequences of being brilliant and rich. Well, that sounds quite sarcastic, but when people rise above the masses they become easy targets for the disgruntled and the jealous. <br />
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According to the introductory blurb, Iron Man and SHIELD’s Alpha Team (guys with Iron Man style armour) are investigating the terrorist threat in Eastern Europe when they’re ambushed by mercenaries with the ability to shut down Stark Tech. Back in the States, a SHIELD scientist by the name of Nicolas Weir has it in for Tony Stark. When Stark became the Director of SHIELD he gave the organization access to Stark Tech, which completely overshadowed Weir’s years of work. To get revenge, Weir tampered with a Cold War-era device, and now he’s a giant flying metal brain trying to kill Iron Man. Yeah, it sounds lame, but the Weir/Machine hybrid is actually really creepy and cool. <br />
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Tony Stark is at his best when he’s being a smart ass. There are a few great moments in the book where Tony is trying to remember who Weir is and calm him down.<br />
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If you recall my <a href="http://certainlymotivated.blogspot.com/2010/11/iron-man-hypervelocity.html"><i>Hypervelocity </i>review</a>, a lot of dramatic tension in Iron Man comes from redirecting power and rebooting the system. Unfortunately, IM:DoS #31 is no stranger to that trope, with Tony reaching deep within himself (literally, sort of) to reboot his <a href="http://marvel.wikia.com/Iron_Man:_Extremis">Extremis Armour</a> at the binary level. In the 1960s, Iron Man had transistors for mysterious all-encompassing explanatory technology. Nowadays it’s nanomachines. You say “nanomachines” and everybody shuts up because, hey, nanomachines. Who knows how they even work, right?<br />
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Besides relying on that old crutch, IM:DoS #31 is a good read. Tony gets some good lines in and goes up against a freaky villain with a cool design. Because of the intro blurb and the clear labelling of the story number “part three of four” it would be really easy for a new reader to pick up the two preceding issues and follow the current storyline.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0